Snowlands Read online

  Dan reclaimed the clothing, and wrapped it around himself instead. “Who’s the father?”

  She stared at him in silence.

  “Alright. Well, I’ll just talk at you instead. Tomarr will want you back afterwards, you know. And this isn’t necessarily bad. I mean, you’ve always said you have no blood family, but now you’re growing your own. And that has to be good. Maybe the father can help-”

  “There’s no father. Not that’ll be any use. He was just a traveller.” But the truth was so much worse: imperial soldier scum.

  “A traveller? You’re usually a little more calculated with your choi-”

  “He had pretty eyes.” Don’t mention the colour.

  “Really? Well, what about asking Ihurade then? He would do anything for you in a heartbeat, find you a wet nurse or pay to send it to the best school in the land. You know he would.”

  “No.” She had already abused that man’s goodwill enough. “The Herfins have always wanted a child. I’ll give it to them.”

  Dan put his arm across her shoulders. It was warm. “Come back to the camp, Neri. Tomarr’s brew isn’t that bad tonight, and he said it was the only thing his wife would eat when she was… you know.”

  “I don’t want special treatment.”

  “You’ll always be one of us, and we take care of our own. So we have to take care of you.”

  Stupid, idiot men. Stupid her. Then again, she was rather hungry. She grumbled her agreement, and together they jogged back up the slope.

  Neri blinked hard in the darkness. She could tell from his breathing that Valyar was still awake. “What happened to my child?”

  “Our daughter.”

  “Where is she?”

  He leaned across her and lit the lamp. “Mia is in The Fortress where we left her.”

  “She- but she’s six.”

  “Six?” He chuckled. “She wants to be six. She may be tall for her age and bright, but I can tell you for certain that she’s four.”

  “I’m her mother?”

  He nodded with a smile. “I named her after you, or what I thought was your name.”

  She felt as if she had been hit by a lurchcaw and sand dragon loaded onto an aur-bike and launched from a grav-pult. “And you kept this from me?”

  “I had to. I needed you to know it yourself.”

  “But she looks nothing like me.”

  “Hah.” He reached for the photograph of the young Neri and placed it in her hands. “Hold that.” Then Valyar started digging through his clothing. At length he paused, pulled something out and presented her with another picture. It was Mia, sitting amongst a mess of books. Both children wore the same, impish grin. If it wasn’t for the colour of the eyes and hair, they could easily have been sisters.

  Neri’s stomach twisted. “Does she know?”

  He frowned. “I haven’t said anything to her, but she still managed to find you in a hall full of people. Don’t you think that’s interesting?”

  “I missed her growing up.”

  “That’s hardly your fault.” He squeezed her briefly.

  “I want to go back.”

  Valyar sighed. “I can’t take us yet. Shifting around that sand dragon drained every resource I had left. I need longer to recover.”

  She nodded slowly. “Then I should spend this time constructively. How did I end up in the Western Mounts?”

  “Where are you up to?”

  She settled back into his arms and worked her mind. A mother! She was not ready to be this thing! Had she ever been? “I stayed a ranger after I found out I was… in that condition. After all, I had no idea of your true identity. Each month the team tested my sword skills, or chased me through the hills to see if I was fit enough…”

  Three such tests were passed, and then it was time for the entire team to repair to The Old Facility and gather whatever supplies had run low through the year. They travelled together through the snows, keeping their pace to a relatively slow run-walk-jog pattern, the sort of pattern that irritated her enormously. And at their final camp they’d gathered around the usual pot of slosh and gossip.

  “Are you sure you’re still pregnant?” Loriman had shouted across the fire.

  “Quite sure.”

  The ranger squinted at her. “Can’t see it.”

  Neri laughed and unbuttoned her coat. “How about now?” Her abdomen had a definite curve to it now, though thick layers of snow clothing did well to hide it.

  Loriman shook his head. “Nope. Still can’t see it.”

  “It’s all that running about,” Tomarr sniffed, “Kid’s got to be held in tightly so it doesn’t bounce out.”

  The camp erupted in fits of giggles and guffaws, some of them Neri’s. She rapidly refastened her coat against the cold.

  “Not long now.” Dan grinned. “Four months? Less?”

  Neri only grunted a response as she dug into her food. It tasted quite edible, for once.

  “She’ll still be out here stabbing imps when it makes its entrance, if things carry on like this,” Tomarr muttered.

  “If I can help it!” she said between mouthfuls. “That’d give them a fright.”

  Fionar nodded. “Nothing more terrifying than an angry, pregnant woman wielding a sword.” His words produced a few smiles.

  But Tomarr stood and quieted the chattering, munching men. “I have an announcement to make. Neri, we have come to a decision.”

  Oh no… She set her bowl down and prepared herself for another argument.

  “Each man here has spoken to me in confidence, and each of them has agreed on this…”

  Neri struggled to hide her disappointment. They were going to lock her away or dispense with her entirely.

  “…That child is one of us. It’s travelled with us, ranged with us and the galaxies know it’s fought with us. So, we’ve decided that, since there’s no father to support it, we will effectively be the child’s fathers. That is The Šona way, is it not?”

  “Ah… sort of, but-”

  “Very good. Well, each man here has consented to give up a small portion of his pay to go towards your baby and whatever it needs. It won’t be riches, but it should be enough. And we will honour this arrangement until the child is able to provide for itself. Does this contract suit you, Neri?”

  Her mouth hung open.

  “Well?”

  “But two of you already have families to provide for. No Šona woman would ever take from another woman’s fam-”

  “Damn it, girl, just accept what we offer you.” Tomarr barked through gritted teeth. “Honour and humility and all that – they don’t matter now. You have to think of the kid.”

  Morho nodded in agreement. “This is ranger business, not home business.”

  But if their wives ever found out, Neri would be a very dead woman. And yet it solved a great many of her problems in one fell swoop. “Alright then,” she said in a very tiny voice.

  “Good!” Tomarr exclaimed, finally sitting down. “You’d better not get pregnant again though. We cannot afford another one!”

  Quite honestly, she had absolutely no intention of that happening; even if it meant no pleasures with a man ever again!

  She curled up under an extra layer of furs that night, and gazed out at the stars that made up The Four. Everything those galaxies wanted, Pangaea had: minerals, metals, oil, farmland and meat. Even Neri’s parents had been miners for the desert’s gold, which was actually platinum. That was what Grailer and his emperor had been after, but she had only discovered this once she reached The Snowlands. And, of course, the emperor had only discovered how useless a desert became when there was no one left who knew how to live and work in it. Yet still he sold pieces of their planet at a vast profit, and enjoyed his power over both galaxy and miner. Her world had no more need of him.

  Carlo was pacing the perimeter of the camp. He looked rather weary.

  Neri hopped out from under her blanket and approached him on soft feet. “You’re exhausted. Let
me take over. At least I have something to kick me awake every ten minutes.”

  “It needs to sleep too.”

  She laughed. “The baby sleeps when I run, and kicks every bit of my insides when I lie down. I’ll do this. Get some rest.” And so she walked in spirals around the sleeping men, spinning her sabre between her hands or throwing her daggers into the air. One of them was an imperial dagger, the same one she had very nearly been hit by when her parents were murdered. That was her most special dagger, and it was reserved for a very special man indeed.

  The next day was taken up by their run to The Old Facility, which was exactly as its name suggested. Stories said it had once been a factory for space ships, but those days were long-forgotten, and now a small town lived within it. Families and shops and manufacturers and money men all lived within this vast building, going about their daily business and sheltering from the snow. It was the hub of Neri’s ranger team, and it had been the place to take her in following her escape from the desert.

  The other rangers immediately went to see their families and loved ones, leaving her to return alone to her room. It was more of a cell really, with concrete walls, an old chair and the smallest of beds. Hardly a place for an infant to grow up. She remained there for a couple of days, contemplating the future and monitoring the wriggles or prods of her child. It took some time for her to summon the confidence to approach the Harfins, old friends and tanners by trade, but eventually she managed it. Neri threw on her snow coat and marched from her room, down the metal-sheeted corridor and straight to the Harfin’s door. She would just lay it out straight for them; she had a child, and would they like to keep it?

  She knocked firmly.

  When the door opened, a grizzled and burly Warrick Harfin stood there beaming broadly. “Neri! You’re back! Come in, come in. How are you? You look well!”

  “Ah, fine. And you two?”

  “Sit down!” He dragged out a chair for her. “I have some news for you. Can you guess?” he twisted his head to call through to the other room. “Fal! Fal, it’s Neri.”

  “It must be good news,” she said with some apprehension.

  And that news became very obvious when Fal entered the room. She was clearly pregnant.

  “Oh,” Neri said with some slight surprise.

  The pair grinned back at her. “Isn’t it wonderful?” Warrick gushed. “We’re very excited!” He placed an arm around his wife.

  Slow seconds passed before she assembled an appropriate reaction. “Congratulations. It’s about time!” She forced a smile, and knew that it was probably quite believable. “Do you have any names yet?” A painful series of pleasantries followed before she was permitted to leave, though she made sure to keep her coat on through the entire encounter. The Harfins had their own baby to think about now, and what need would they have of hers? Neri resolved to return to her room and rethink her plans once more. But when she arrived, the six rangers were waiting at her door. They looked and smelled drunk.

  Dan slung an arm across her shoulders. “We’ve got a present for you.”

  “I’m listening.”

  Fionar reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a swipe card. “Managed to pickpocket this out of one of the nurse’s… ah… coats.” He grinned. “It’ll get us into the medi-bay.”

  Stupid, idiot men! She knew perfectly well she was healthy. “And why would I want to go there?”

  Tomarr blinked at her. “To see your kid, of course! They’ve got scanners and whatevers and things and that in there.

  “I don’t want to see it.”

  They gave each other dazed and barely-focussed looks of incomprehension for a moment. Then Carlo coughed, “I want to see it.”

  “Me too,” said Dan.

  Tomarr raised his hand. “All in favour?”

  The six men raised their wobbly hands. She thought of arguing with them, or simply walking past them and shutting the door behind her, but her entire spirit felt weak. And perhaps they were owed a gawp or two for their generosity. She sighed heavily. “Let’s go then, but try to act a little more soberly.”

  The party of rangers reached the medical unit with surprisingly little fuss, though that was probably due to the time of day rather than their acting skill. Just about every corridor was dark and empty in the middle of the night. Fionar pulled out his misappropriated pass card, and drew it across the door lock. It clicked, and the man grinned as he stepped inside.

  The lights stuttered on with their strange, blue-green glow, and a host of equipment was immediately made visible.

  “It’s that one.” Tomarr pointed towards a level platform. It was perfectly sized for someone to lie upon, and had an array of cameras and closed boxes above it.

  The stumbling, slurring men moved towards it and began searching for switches. Numerous lights came on and off, while whirrs of machinery and hums of systems spooled up and down. At length the men seemed quite confident that they had turned the correct instrument on. A square of mottled light filled a projection screen on one wall.

  “Right!” Tomarr exclaimed. “Loriman, you get under it first to make sure we don’t fry her.”

  Loriman giggled in a high pitch, and threw himself onto the scanner’s platform. A slice of his body was immediately visible on the wall, with most of its contents labelled.

  “Snows of blood, man!” Dan shouted, pointing at the scan, “You’re going to have a mud child of your own!”

  The rangers fell about in laughter, with Loriman nodding sagely. “Snow cat meat has that effect, as you well know.” He hopped off the scanner. “Still in one piece. Your turn.”

  Neri looked at it carefully. It didn’t appear very comfortable.

  Dan folded his arms. “What are you afraid you’ll see?”

  “It’s not a baby lurchcaw in there, is it?” Carlo whispered.

  “Come on, soldier,” Tomarr urged, patting the top of the platform. The rest of the men gathered around it expectantly.

  She didn’t want to see. She didn’t want to know! She took several deep breaths, in and out, stepped slowly towards them and then hesitated.

  “Dan.” Tomarr nodded at him, and Dan swept her off the ground before she could raise a hand to push him away. He placed her carefully on the scan table, and all eyes turned to the projection screen.

  The computer swiftly worked through her various organs, logging just about every scar and injury she had ever taken, and then it stopped. Labels and lines pointed towards her abdomen, and the scanner announced that it was going a level deeper. Then there it was, a wriggling, kicking, fuzzy thing with arms and legs and hands and feet and a head. The heartbeat sounded through the speakers, thumping away faster than a melt-pump, and a time stamp appeared on the screen. Due: twelve weeks, two days and six hours. Neri was transfixed.

  “Looks like a ranger, alright,” Tomarr announced. “Long legs and a good punch. I want to see that kid recruited when it’s old enough.”

  Dan stuck his hands under the scanner and waggled them about over her stomach. They appeared on the screen briefly, each of them larger than her baby.

  Carlo spoke in hushed tones, “It is true, what they say about Šona women’s-”

  “Is it a girl or a boy?” Fionar asked.

  Neri had seen enough. She hopped off the scanner and readjusted her clothing. “Why don’t we keep that a surprise?” At least a massive siren had not gone off, alerting them all that her child had been sired by filth.

  “Everything changes when you see it, eh Neri?” Tomarr had perched on one of the machines, and was sounding far more sober than before. “It’s the sort of thing that can even touch a heart as wintry as yours.”

  She kept her thoughts to herself. Though her eyes had watered a little, there was no sense in becoming too attached.

  “Well, I don’t know about you lot, but that’s more than enough excitement for me for one night.” Fionar winked at her. “And cheer up, Neri. The kid’s got your looks and strength. And Tom’s right, it
is one of us already. It’ll all come good in the end.

  The men started making their goodbyes and slowly they drained from the medi-bay. Dan stopped to give her a hug after the last of them had left. “We’re your family now,” he said softly, and then staggered off to bed himself. She felt a little lost in those dark corridors, alone but for the strange invader in her stomach. Lost and confused. For a while she wandered the empty halls and chambers of The Facility, trying to work out which parts were new and which were old. It was a strange place to choose to live, really, but the snows around were undeniably beautiful. Everyone here understood that.

  Neri sat down at the metal table of a closed café and reached for one of the news slips. She threaded three onto the spool in the table and fumbled through them lazily. An image caught her eye. It was a picture of a man. Such things almost never appeared in any periodical or book, not since the privacy rulings about posting names with pictures. It just was not done. Even the rebel newsrooms were too afraid to print photographs of real people. But the closer she looked at the picture, the shakier her hand became. It was the man she had met at the couler: Kyron. And his eyes glowed brilliant green.

  She pressed through to the article, and then she forgot to breathe. Emperor’s son. Sighter Valyar. Dead. Electrical storm. No heirs. Thousand women. Empire mourns. Dead. Neri set the reel down slowly. A hundred thoughts rattled through her head at once. What had she fallen into? And his eyes… a characteristic of Sighters known to everyone but her, apparently. Why had he left her with this? And what if the child was born with those eyes? Oh light of winter, she had slept with a Sighter! She would be burned alive for it. And the rangers… their hate would be the most unbearable of all. She should have just allowed him to die! With her face now streaked by tears, Neri ran to the safety of her room, locked the door and curled up in one corner. For the rest of the night she wept and threw furniture and kicked at the wall. It was a relief when her fatigue finally took hold, a blessed relief.

  The skies, room and air were grey when she regained consciousness. Even the things that ought to have been colourful were monochrome. Her baby kicked, and she glanced down at the roundness hidden beneath her coat. Normally she didn’t like touching it, but this time she unbuttoned her outerwear and ran her fingers over the smooth skin. “You’re not even born yet and already you are fatherless. Already you are despised by millions. But you never asked for this. It’s not your fault. I don’t know what to do.” She waited there for a while, as if some sort of response would come. None did.