Snowlands Read online

  She found it hidden beneath a wall mirror, though she was not entirely sure why that was the first place she had looked. The reflection of a Šona woman looked back at her from the glass: lover of General Ihurade - a man twenty years her senior, but young for his rank. Whatever had he seen in her? She looked down and traced her fingers over the scars on her arms and chest. Still no memories came that would identify their origin. Neri’s eyes flicked back to the mirror. What if the emperor had lied to her? Could she really trust every word this man said, given his reputation? And how would such a lie serve him, in any case? Perhaps those words could render a woman guilty and vulnerable. She certainly felt as if she deserved to pay for Ihurade’s death, a little suffering to even things up.

  She crawled into the opulent bed and shouted at the lights to turn themselves off. They did so, but woefully slowly. Doctor Colobrin’s old-fashioned switches and knobs were far less time-consuming and fussy about the process. And that was her last thought before sleep took further ones away. Her dreams of snow came to her as they always did, but this time those snows led to a desert full of tents and picket lines and barbed wire. This was not the land of The Šona. This was the edge of a battlefield: an army camp. She was moving purposefully between the guy ropes, her sabre clattering at her calves and the sun beating down upon her bare shoulders. A fresh wound on her biceps had been tightly bandaged and smelled heavily of some sort of disinfectant preparation. It was deep, but would not preclude her from her usual activities. She was looking for someone: a man.

  “Nerinna!”

  She spun to meet the voice.

  A soldier stood before her, his eyes a pale shade of grey and his dark hair framing a smiling face. He was alive, though he couldn’t have been old enough to have left his thirties. Daemar. “Major.” She offered him a swift bow.

  “Excellent work earlier, Nerinna. I was very impressed. We’ll make an officer of you yet.” He added a polite nod and made to leave.

  “Excuse me.” She skipped a few steps to keep level with his stride. “I have a request. May I speak to you in private?”

  He frowned at her briefly, and then shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose you may. Come with me.”

  Excitement grew in her bones as she watched him march forward in his muddied sand coat. He was the finest tactician and warrior in the whole of the rebel army, or so she had been told, and his rise to the post of major had been nothing short of meteoric. She had put considerable effort into seeking him out, and had bargained with more than a few lieutenants to allow her to fight for him. But now was her chance. He would be her first.

  His tent was larger than all of the others, of course, designed to accommodate meetings for planning and celebrating. The insides appeared to be filled with lots of fur things and papers and piles of info tabs. A strange, tubular contraption sat atop one desk. It looked old and heavily rusted.

  “Did you know they used to fight with things called guns and gunpowder in the old days? Would shoot a piece of metal into you at thousands of miles per hour. Barbaric, don’t you think?”

  And dangerous. No one dared use explosives on Pangaea. Not unless they wanted every lurchcaw, desert dragon and silver falcon on the planet to come running after them. “I prefer my blade over anything, and I want to be the best at it.”

  “I can see that. But what do you want of me?” He seated himself upon a wool rug and beckoned her to do the same.

  She crept as close as she dared, so that she could smell the sweat and blood that he had not yet removed from his skin. “I need to learn. I need you to teach me what you know.”

  “That is a worthy desire, but I have no time for students, Nerinna.” A response she had expected.

  “Neri,” she corrected. She traced a finger around his neck. “Do you know what Šona women can do, Major Ihurade? What I can offer you in return?”

  “I have heard…” His voice faltered.

  Her finger moved to his lips, and she brought her mouth very close to his. Her chest pressed against his arm. “I can make you beg for mercy like none of your enemies ever shall. I can give you what no other woman is capable of.”

  He stayed silent, and she could feel his light breathing on her skin. Her hand moved down to his torso.

  “It is an exchange of knowledge,” Neri whispered softly. It had never been her primary goal to use sex to get what she wanted, but intelligence or blackmail would have taken far too long here, and trying to outwit this man was more than she was ready for. Besides, he fought like the sort of man who had nothing lose. Any sort of extortion was impossible with such people. Her hand moved farther down for an instant, and then she withdrew from him slowly.

  “You are just a girl,” he croaked.

  “I am far more than that, Major.”

  His pale eyes wandered over her briefly, until he brought them back to meet hers once more. “This is about vengeance, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” There was no point in lying.

  “Vengeance is a poor motivation for fighting, girl.”

  “Nevertheless, it motivates me well enough. Will you accept my offer in exchange for your teaching? And I want proper instruction, not the stuff any two-bit lieutenant or sergeant can tell me.”

  He pulled his mouth to one side and rubbed at his jaw. “Fine. But you will not speak of our arrangement to anyone else here. Our lessons may be in public, but you must not visit me during daylight hours unless I specifically request it. You only come to my bed at night. Do we have a deal?”

  “Some of the things I have to show you will last longer than a night, major.”

  His eyes widened, but he said nothing.

  A grin surfaced upon her face. “Then we have an accord, Major Ihurade.” She pushed him suddenly to the floor, and straddled his hips. “Care to cement our deal now?”

  “Ah, I have to, um…”

  “Very well, then.” And she began to remove his clothing.

  Neri sat up slowly in the darkness. Was that really how it had started between them, nothing but a bargain? And what sort of vengeance was she seeking, and against whom? She could recall little more of her encounters with Daemar, though she remembered that they were pleasurable. Extremely pleasurable. Snows of blood, what sort of woman was she?

  Someone else was in the room.

  “Hello?”

  The sheets next to her moved suddenly, and Neri screamed, falling out of the bed.

  “Are you alright?” The voice sounded familiar. It sounded like Valyar’s.

  “What are you doing in my bed?”

  “Lights on slow,” he said softly. “I thought you might like some company.” He reached a hand out to her. His torso was bare, and it was likely the rest of him was, too. A curious line of evenly-spaced, identical scars ran down one side of his chest.

  “What gave you that idea?”

  Puzzlement crossed his features as his hand dropped slowly. “The woman I knew before was not afraid of men.”

  “And I will not simply sleep with any and all men that I meet!” Assuming he was not planning to kill her for her refusal, of course. “Are you going to kill me for refusing?”

  He screwed his face up in disgust. “No.”

  “Then I refuse.”

  “Oh.” His eyes moved to the other side of the room, and then he vanished. He did not fade away as Ihurade’s apparitions did, he just… went.

  “Valyar?”

  No response.

  She clambered gingerly back into the bed and checked under the covers. No. He was definitely not there. She was losing her mind!

  “It’s just… you’ve been gone for four years.”

  Neri very nearly fell off the bed again. He was standing in the corner of the room. She searched for open doors, hidden exits and hatches. “How did you…?”

  “I’ve missed you. We all have.”

  All? “But… Was I…? Were we…?”

  He had placed his hands on his hips, though thankfully that part of him was clothed. His head t
ilted. “Briefly.”

  “Was I one of those women? The… thousand?”

  He rolled his peculiar eyes – what was it about them? Don’t mention the colour. “It wasn’t a thousand. Five-hundred at a push… possibly. Less than that, though. And what do you think the answer to your question is?”

  At this moment, she had no idea. “Did I cheat on Ihurade with you?”

  His eyebrows rose so high upon his forehead that they looked as if they might escape altogether. He sighed, and vanished again.

  Neri spent some time watching the room around her, waiting for him to return. He did not. Her sleep afterwards was fitful and sweaty and troubled by images of things she could not place. There was no snow, which she missed terribly. When she awoke she found that her belongings had been placed in her room, complete with Ihurade’s sword. She immediately went to examine it with her new eyes and memories, and the sword repaid her by offering up new memories of its own.

  In one of them she and Daemar stole away to the woods to complete their ‘exchange of knowledge’, while in another they battled a captain of the imperial forces side-by-side, and then eased their tensions afterwards in one of Kenari’s volcanic pools. She remembered him as a kind man, never displaying anger toward her, and rarely irritation. There were times when she had awoken to find him looking at her, and others when he had kissed her while he lectured on army formations or kill statistics. She had never intended for that to happen. It should only have been business.

  “It’s just business.”

  “Neri, that man is not looking at you like you’re one of his muster sheets,” Dan said, sharpening his knives. “Not unless he gets very excited about muster sheets. Everyone here knows what you get up to.”

  “It’s all for the same purpose. Everything I do is. Even him.” She sat on the rough wood of a foldaway bench, its surface warmed by the sun.

  “You’ll break his heart, then?”

  She did not want to. “Once my learning is done, there is no reason for it to continue.”

  Dan set his blade down and leaned forward on the table. “This mission will not serve you as well as you believe.”

  “You’re beginning to sound like him.”

  “Of course. He cares about you.” The soldier straightened again, and resumed his sharpening. “So who’s next on your list? General Lyan? High Major Wendersan?”

  “They are excellent minds and knowledgeable fighters.”

  Dan’s mouth dropped. “Wendersan’s over eighty! Can he even… ? Surely… eurgh!”

  Any means necessary, and those men could help her on her quest. She straightened her uniform. Daemar was approaching.

  She felt cold in that gilded room. Cold inside and out. What could have been so important for her to treat Ihurade that way? She had only been a teenager when she had made her bargain with him, which had to mean that her decision to fight was a very early one. Cold and callous. Neri dressed slowly, now aware of what some of her battle injuries meant. Each one was a step towards some goal she’d had in mind, and the last ones had nearly destroyed her. She strapped on some of her daggers, and opened the door to the hallway. Valyar was pacing outside.

  “Good morning. You look more like yourself,” he said with an easy smile. “Come with me.”

  “How long have you been waiting there?”

  “Not long.” His pace quickened with his impossibly long legs. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Ah, well… I…” She must have imagined their midnight exchange entirely.

  “No? Do you remember anything more following what I told you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh?” He stopped suddenly and turned to face her, his eyes burning into her skull. They were different in the daylight: bright, ivy green. Don’t mention the colour.

  “I remember how Daemar and I came to be lovers.”

  Valyar nodded slowly. “The deal.”

  “You know about that?!”

  He shrugged and resumed his walk. “You told me about it.”

  “I did?” That had been no one else’s business, and certainly not the son of the emperor’s. She had the distinct feeling she had despised Valyar’s father, Turoth. Even his name made her clench her jaw in disgust.

  “Yes. And the other ones.”

  Oh, cada’shan! That meant she had pursued Lyan and Wendersan. Who else had been on the list? “Please do not tell me any more.” She was starting to feel nauseous.

  “As you wish. Although, I have found someone for you, someone who knew you far better than I did. He can tell you every minute detail you do or do not wish to recall, but I would like you to do something in return for me.”

  “And what is that?” Please let it not be one of those deals, please, please…

  “I want you to be my daughter’s governess.”

  What? “Me?”

  He shot her another smile. “Of course.”

  “But I’m terrible with children! They hate me and, to be quite honest, I’m not sure if I like them.”

  Valyar laughed. “You had no problems last night. And Mia hasn’t stopped talking about you all morning. Give her a chance. If nothing else, you’d make an excellent guard for her.”

  There was no doubt that this man had a curious plan of sorts. Perhaps he had not lied to her about Ihurade, but putting her with his daughter… that had to be scheming for something. Give her a battle to fight rather than children, any day. “As you command.”

  “I do not want to hear any of that command nonsense from you, Neri. I get enough of it from all the simpering lackeys around me.” He rearranged his coat like a bird ruffling its feathers, and approached an ominous, black door. “Please.” He held the door open for her to pass through, and as she did she picked up the scent of his aftershave once more. It stirred something in her mind. A cave?

  A man was waiting in the room beyond, his back to them. He appeared to be transfixed by the view through the window. But even the rear of his head was easily identifiable. Neri’s newly reclaimed memories were still very fresh in her mind. “Dan!”

  He spun immediately, a broad grin spreading across his face. “It is you!” He moved quickly to embrace her, and the squeeze he gave was impossibly tight. “I thought you were dead.” He stood back and pulled the hair from her face. His own was pink and teary with emotion. “But here you are. Where have you been, Neri?”

  “The Western Mounts.”

  “Not ten miles from the battle site,” Valyar added from his dark corner.

  “Well, well.” Dan shook his head, brown hair bobbing in its curls. “All this time.” He studied her carefully with eyes of frosty blue, presumably checking that she was who she claimed to be. “I’ve brought something for you. Our emperor tells me that you have some trouble remembering much from before the battle – though you seem to remember me alright.” He winked. “You left it at The Old Facility. Do you recall that place?”

  Images of white walls and high fences danced across her consciousness. “Possibly.”

  “Hmm, well. Try this then.” He handed her a long, thin and shiny object: a sabre. It was her sabre.

  “She‘s freshly oiled and sharpened till she sings on the air like always. Though I daresay you haven’t as many people to cut down with it nowadays.”

  Valyar shifted soundlessly behind her.

  “No, indeed,” Neri announced. “I’m supposed to fix people and give them medicine. I am a doctor’s student now.”

  Dan’s eyes widened. “I’d like to meet the man who produced this transformation! But, please, tell me you still know how to use that blade.”

  She grasped the hilt tightly in one hand and lifted it up. “I’m not sure.”

  Her friend craned his neck to speak to the emperor. “Would you mind if I took her out for a practise session?”

  “Now that is something I have heard much about, but have yet to see,” Valyar said, very nearly rubbing his hands together. “Except for the time you…” His sentence drifted as he gazed at
her, and he chuckled. “Yes, let’s see what the infamous Nerinna can still do with only half her brain working.”

  She wasn’t sure if she should have taken offense at that. “I will not be much to look at. Daggers, yes, but this thing…” Her words seemed to be taking no root in the minds of her companions, for they had already led her from the room and were walking towards cold air. She tried to think back to her fights with Daemar Ihurade. He had been a major then, but still kept his hand in sword fighting. You fight like an angry rabbit, Daemar often accused. An angry rabbit with very sharp teeth, she would reply. But she had bested him five times out of six, and it was then that she had known their time together would soon come to an end.

  The courtyard they reached was grim, grey and empty. “Off you go!” Valyar shouted, taking a seat on one of the nearby steps. He leant forward and placed his chin on his fist, eyes burning. He really was nowhere near as gruff as everyone claimed.

  Neri moved her gaze to Dan. He was already standing ready with his guard and sword aloft. “I won’t make this easy for you, Nezza.”

  That nickname brought new images to her mind: pictures of running through a white building, prying icicles from roofs and jumping into drifts of snow. She had known this man as a child. Her thoughts moved back to the sabre, now glinting in the morning rays. It had been a gift from someone… not Daemar, but one of the other generals. She turned it over in her hand and through the air a few times. Perfectly balanced.

  “So you do remember.” Dan grinned.

  “Even if I did, it’s been at least four years since I last tried to use one of these.” She spun the sword a second time, and went for her friend’s blade. The metal hit with a surprisingly loud clang, so loud that it very nearly made her jump, and Dan scraped his blade along hers before readying for a strike. Neri met it, but only just in time.